Three hundred and ninety-five days have gone by since my last post. There were numerous times when I would come back to my site, scroll over the few posts I experimented with and wonder if this blog would ever be launched. I pretended to seek accountability by telling more people about my neglected project. That was huge, since I intended to remain in anonymity; I was concerned about the wrong people reading for the wrong reasons. But…that is dead and gone now. Mostly because I’m entirely too blunt to be coy, I have no desire to hide behind a pen name and quite frankly I no longer care about who reads. I just need to write.
As you can see in the above photo, the past three hundred and ninety-five days came with a lot of changes. I went from carelessly parading around on random vacations to brewing another human being. From fantasizing about who my baby boy would be to holding him in my arms. From doubting my abilities as a mother to embracing this new, incredibly challenging and rewarding stage of my life. In the midst of all of that I experienced bouts of rage, joy, depression, ecstasy, anxiety, excitement, gratitude, disdain, and lots of strange changes with my body. It was by far the most challenging year I’ve had. At the same time it was so unbelievably enlightening…I’m telling you it was just a huge surge of life. Life along with every pleasantry and insult one could imagine. Praise God for the strength he provided me with to endure and overcome it all. That grace is something else!
And now I’m finally ready to share my heart with the world…or whoever runs into this random page with a deceivingly deep title. The Raw Lense is simply a lens without a filter. The extra “e” (uncommon but still acceptable) is added for a little spice. Because like my story, that spelling will make people slightly uncomfortable or even question some things. Silly me, I thought I could do the title justice hidden behind a picture of a tree or something. But I have come to my senses! The girl in the profile pic is moi. No hiding anymore. I do not know what is to come of this revamped blog of mine, but I pray someone finds a bit of peace, hope or at least comfort in reading.